#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[fishnapple]

Predictions for your life in general in the next 4 months

This is a timeless reading, not intended for any particular months. In my personal reading, there will be a detailed forecast for each area in your life (home, career, relationship, travel, etc)

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

CUBE 1

Your life in the next 4 months will be more focused in the area of self growth and love. What you give out to the world in the 1st month will comeback to you as an opportunity for growth in the 4th month.

During the 1st month, you will feel a surge of energy and want to start some creative projects, could be something simple as redecorating, writing short poems, planning a trip, learning a new skill, trying out a new recipe, etc. It will feel exciting. But there might be an unexpected event that can slow down your progress, a little hitch. This will be a sign for you to reevaluate how you are spending your energy and resources. Maybe you've been trying out so many different things, wanting to do many things at the same time, having grand plans for the future. This could make you feel burnout, so introducing divine intervention. You can always come back to your action-mode after taking a rest. You might feel restless about this hitch in the progress, thinking it's the sign of stagnancy and boredom.

But don't worry, you will pick up where you left off in the 2nd month. There's a feeling of compensating, you want to make up for the unproductive time by doing double, which can be counterproductive. I also see an opportunity for a connection, maybe a romantic one. This connection will take centre stage of your life in the upcoming 4 months. You might feel a little confused at first, of how to act, should you pursue this or not, are they interested. The desire to act is there but there's also hesitancy and reluctance. Maybe because this connection is not new, you might have known them before and are not sure of their intentions. They've come back and you don't feel too enthusiastic about it. Even though this connection will play an important role in your life, I see that in the next 4 months, you might not want to officially start this connection but focus more on yourself instead. There's a feeling of independent and going about life alone.

By the end of 3rd month, you will begin to look inward and address the lingering feeling of dread and dissatisfaction. Your emotional landscape will get a makeover, cleaning out unnecessary things that have been taking up your time and energy. But it can also be a literal change of living space. There might be some times when you feel a certain pain in the area of stomach and chest, pay attention to them, no matter how fleeting they feel.

After the spring cleaning of the 3rd month, the 4th month will bring new opportunities for learning and travel. But you will have to actively pursue them, they won't be placed in your hands readily. The tricky part is that you might not feel the desire to start something new at this period because your mind seems to be a little foggy and busy with noises from all around you. And a new insight about the connection from previous months will appear, this insights will help you plan your actions more realistically and more practical. The 4th month might not be an active month for you, the energy feels a lot more somber. This might be the preparation period for the upcoming changes in your life.

CUBE 2

In these upcoming 4 months, there's an overall feeling of newness and unpredictability. This can create a sense of uneasiness.

In the 1st month, you might encounter some setbacks or difficulties in what you're doing. It's about something that you have set your eyes on for a long time, an ideal to achieve. I think you are aware that the things you want to do might go against a certain rule or against someone, you will know that there will be opposition, but you will want to proceed nevertheless. So the setbacks might seem like a challenge for you, you will feel it's unfair but it's not, it's a chance to reevaluate your commitment and focus, whether you have the right plan, is there some parts that's too impractical. These setbacks will slow you down, give you more time to think more thoroughly. You might want to fight back, to will things your way, exerting more force than necessary. These actions have an emotional drive behind them. In this period, it's best not to make major decisions when you're feeling too emotional. Also be mindful of emotional outbursts and misdirected angers.

In the next month, the situation will improve but won't be entirely smooth sailing. You will become more cautious in taking actions. In the 2nd month, there will be other responsibilities that demand your attention and divert you from your original plan. You might be swamped by mundane tasks that bore your mind but you will try to keep a positive outlook. It might not be easy, it might be hard to stay positive in some situations but you do realise that a lot of uncertainties and unnecessary mental burdens are created by your own mind. You will try to look forward to the future. Maybe doing something different to distract yourself, learn something new, talk with other people more, change the kind of show or content you usually watch, anything to keep you from the routine and boredom. This signals that you need to pay more attention to the part of you that wants to just have fun and enjoy life, being carefree.

At the start of the 3rd month, there might be something or someone from past wanting to make a comeback. It might be an old habit, a long forgotten project, something that you've done many times before, someone you've known for a long time or someone new but has similar traits to the people you've known from the past. But the comeback is just a possibility or a wishful thought, something that you absentmindedly reminiscent about or some fleeting words from someone that will remind you of the past. It won't be something that will come in direct contact with you in this period. Then there will be a surprise feeling of attraction for someone. This will be someone that you don't anticipate, an unlikely chance. In this 3rd month, you seem to be a lot more "floaty", the opposite of how you feel in the 1st month. You will allow your mind to dream more, to romantise things more. This attraction might not be long lived but it will lighten your heart and make you feel more confident in yourself.

This positive effect will be stronger in the 4th month. You will feel more bold, wanting to try out things that you've been afraid of before. This attitude will be much needed because I see a big change is looming from the distance future.

CUBE 3

There is a surge of energy at the start of the 1st month. You feel like you can do anything, things that seemed challenging before will now be easy to tackle. If you're planning to start something, this time period will be a good start. Be careful not to be too forceful about executing your plan though, your actions and words might have a directness to them that can unintentionally hurt someone who is more sensitive or inciting heated debates or arguments that can make both parties regret later. Something you do might be usually considered difficult or even impossible for you, but you still have hope and see a path for you. A little of optimism will go a long way in helping you achieve your dreams. Also avoid eating things that you might regret later. This surge of energy might excite your body more than usual, making it working harder so avoid adding elements that might disturb the balance of your body.

In the 2nd month, you might be more emotional than usual and start to look back at the past, reminiscent bygone things. The energy of this month is very quiet and still. If you're someone who enjoy the company of other people or lively atmosphere, in this month, you might make people wondering about what's changed in you. You will want to seek more solitude, to quiet your mind. You might find out an information that was hidden from you in the past or lift off the veil of a confusion. Your mind will be clearer and also more heavier. Sometimes seeing the truth is not a pleasant feeling.

Into the 3rd month, at first, there won't be anything unusual, life continues on the same way as the past months. But then, by the end of the month, your mind will be active again, bustling with ideas, even wild ones, risky ones, ones that you aren't usually comfortable doing. You will suddenly feel like you're on a whole new path, so many unfamiliar things, but doing them will expand your horizon and the limit you put on yourself.

So this daring energy might not last long. After a while, into the 4th month, you will begin to doubt if those ideas you were so excited about are actually doable or practical. You look at the other responsibilities in your life and get an inkling that things might not be the same anymore, to be daring will be equal to be rebuilt. There will be things that you need to discard and change. That feeling can be overwhelming, the foresight of an transformation that will take a lot of work. But I see that there's supportive energy around you. I see a masculine figure, someone with lots of drive and energy, generous with their affection will support you, infuse you with confidence again.

CUBE 4

In the 1st month, an opportunity for something that you've been wanting to try will present itself to you. You won't be forced to do it but have a choice. This is something that you want or like to do, because instinctively you can feel that doing it will make you braver and grow more as a person. It's a little bit like a challenge, something that makes you anxious but still excited. It might require you to show yourself more, be more bold and be unapologetically yourself, which is not always a walk in the park. It feels like a performance. But overall the energy of the first two months is quite relaxing and fun. Even if your life is busy with other responsibilities in that period, you still try to make space for yourself and have some fun.

The 2nd month is quite uneventful. Whatever your life is at the moment of the 1st month, it will continue to be so in the next month. Just be mindful of the feeling of boredom that can lead to thoughts spiraling on and on. Maybe you will feel an itch, a nudging feeling that the inactivity is just a prelude of a big event lurking in the future. Which you're probably right. There will be a time when you need to be in deep introspection that will bring about lasting change in your way of thinking.

In the 3rd month, something about a place, could be your living place or your workplace will demand your attention. You might feel a little confused, maybe you wanted to change but you're still debating whether you should make such a drastic move in this time. Something will make you feel like you're not ready, there's so much to do and prepare, you haven't had enough resources yet, etc. You will be in worry mode by the end of this month. You want to look at the bright side and think positively but at the same time, the urgency of the issue will not help you thinking clear. That might be the external circumstance, on the internal note, you might have the feeling that your life right now is a little out of place, it's not where it's supposed to be and you feel like you're fretting for it to change.

In the 4th month, you will begin to calm down and work on the issue more practically. Addressing what's needed to be done, what can you do, what is your limit. I see some of your own duties will have to change, maybe it's about changing of job or your responsibilities in the house. I see an ending of the old. A different path is opened for you, to study or work oversea or work with many foreigners. You will have a chance to get to know more about different cultures and who knows, along the way, you might fall in love, could be a person, but could be the culture, the beauty of distant lands. In this month, you will act more unpredictable, at least to the onlooker's eyes. Your inner transformation has already happened for some time. The result is the unexpected decisions that you make. I don't see you being forceful or rebellious about it. You just have the freedom in your hands and are using it more to get closer to what you truly want and are called to.

CUBE 5

At the start of the 1st month, there will be a big chance for you to explore a new territory that you haven't thought of before. It's something very new but exciting. One thing will lead to another. You will feel like Alice spiraling down the rabbit hole. Maybe you will get inspired by another person. Someone who is in control of their feminine energy very well. The energy is mature and sensual. They might be artistic and have a killer sense of style and aesthetic. They will inspire you to explore new concepts about love, sensuality and beauty. The emphasis here is sensuality, being in touch with nature, you will train your senses, noticing more scents, more colours, textures will give different sensations. This group feels very artistically inclined. It's like you will be touched with the beauty around you. Feeling your life a lot more romantic.

For the first two months, the energy is relaxing and flowy, just enjoying and having fun, exploring new things. Into the 2nd month, you will want to delve deeper into the topics that interested you in the previous month. Learning, doing research, talking about it excitedly to people. It feels like a flower blooming. There's something changing here. You might need to change an electronic device. And you might want to change something else. You dream more and begin to have a different vision for yourself. The idea is kind of out of the blue but not that shocking. The feeling is very quiet but free. There's a lot of space without disturbances.

Now, into the next two months, things might pick up the pace again. You will need to be in your masculine energy more, making decisions, being assertive. After the first two months of being future oriented, wanting to take a different path, explore new things, in the 3rd month, you seem to revert back into your old self, acting like how you've been in the past. Maybe you think that the decisions of the previous months are too risky, you're not used to it. There's a part of you wanting to fight back the change, to keep the status quo. People might also chime in their opinions, they would remind you of the past, maybe some familiar situations had happened and they want to remind you of the lesson. Some people from the past might also come back, posing as the opposite force to the change. Maybe you try to move one from something, could be love, and now the past wants to come back. By the end of this month, you will have to make a choice, to be decisive. Something will have to end. It won't feel easy, you will feel like fate is playing with you. But this choice will help you grow into yourself more.

In the 4th month, you will feel strong enough to face your inner anguish. In this period, there's a need to settle down, to find a place for you to feel stable. Maybe you will face a decision to move and you will feel anxious about it. Be aware of upset stomachs. Nutrition is very important in this time period, you will need to nurture yourself, to give yourself more energy, and be mindful of how things we take in ourselves can influence our thoughts and feelings.

CUBE 6

The 1st month will start with some exchanges, of ideas and materials, or you will travel more, more movements, going to different places. It seems busy but not hectic. You will navigate situations with grace and flexibility. Whatever you do in this month will be towards a future that you've seen for yourself. They are not just mindless acts to fulfil some responsibilities but have a greater intention behind. Things might seem fast-paced, with many different areas requiring your focus. You will practise your verbal skills a lot, especially about persuasion, and tact is very important this month. You will need to convince people, charming them. Maybe these people will help you start something new, they will be your support.

In the 2nd month, things seem to slow down again, maybe in the 1st month, you will be preparing for something new, and in this month, you will focus on stabilise it, getting used to it. Something will require your commitment and trust. I see the energy of this month is pretty solitary. You work on your own instead of depending on other people like the previous month. Even if some difficulties arise, you will want to solve them by yourself. I feel very distracted in your reading. Maybe this will be the energy of your next 4 months, a lot of things will pull at your attention, so you need to be discerning and disciplined.

There are lots of activities and events in the 3rd month. You will start this month with an activity that you have done many times before, it has become a habit and you're good at it. It will be a valuable skill to help you in work. But I see that you won't be contented with it, you might feel a little bored with same old, same old things. It might be a pattern of behaviour or pattern of the people you're involved with. You feel like this pattern doesn't help you grow. It repeats itself over and over, even when you tried to do something new, it was still the underlying energy. So, in this month, you will begin to question more about your patterns in life and want to shake things up. Your life seems to be too quiet for you so you want to make some drastic changes. Thinking up some novel ideas, remembering your childhood dreams. Some people might wonder what has influenced you into this kind of action. You seem more rebellious, wanting to do things your way. Beware of the tendency to stir up conflicts or challenge other people's ideas and opinions just because you feel stifled or your freedom is threatened by them.

This feeling will continue on into the 4th month. Your ego and how you express yourself will be the focus of these four months. You will feel invincible, so sure of yourself that you might not see things in an objective lens and think things through carefully. Some well-meaning advice might be ignored by you. I see some friends, someone with more soft energy, will try to help you see things from a different perspective, but you seem to not yield. This will not create a serious conflict, but you might need to reexamine your stance more carefully, lest your ego might spoil some meaningful connections.

[lifeonmarz-blog]

Intro to AstroCartography

a method of locational astrology, by which specific geographic locations are associated with expected differences in personal life circumstances.

(Astro-car-tography) is one of my favorite branches of astrology. Different places affect people differently. Rather it be a different city, state or country. Astrocartography shows places that are the best fit for you around the world that suite different focuses in your life. Career, Love, Friendship, Structure, More recognition, Healing past wounds, Finding your path, More spontaneous experiences, A faster pace life, A slower pace life, whatever your looking to experience more of. There's a place that would make it the easiest.

There are 4 different 'types' of lines

-ASC; how your personality expresses itself to others, what others see when they look at you

-DC; experiences you'll have in personal one on one relationships

-IC; how your home and personal life will be affected

-MC; how you assert yourself into the world especially career wise, this is your public image

What energy the planets represent

-Sun; Center of attention, Developing sense of self

-Moon; Emotions, Triggers, Family

-Mercury; Communication, Friendship

-Venus; Romance, Friendship, Luxury

-Mars; Activity, Accidents, Forcefulness, Ambition

-Saturn; Structure, Patience, Stability, Building

-Jupiter; Luck, General abundance, Education/Learning

-Uranus; Spontaneous experiences, New things, Quick actions

-Pluto; Uncovering truths, Restructuring, Learning

Honorary mentions

-Chiron; Wounds, Triggers

-Northnode; Life purpose

Examples

-Mercury on the dc you would meet alot of people that show interest in having conversations with you. This is an easy place to network and make friends with like minded people.

-I grew up on a mars asc line and ive had to fight for what i want and believe in a lot. It felt like having to always prove my worth. I was in 6 car accidents (only 2 were major). My body was always a topic of conversation. I had insecurities around weight. I started a business on this line. I was known for being an entrepreneur. I think for men it would be smoother depending on aspects in the natal chart ofc but for women we operate more in our masculine energy on a mars line. Going to make things happen instead of opportunities coming to us. That starts to feel draining.

-You could find a long term relationship and have improved finances on a venus line.

-My Sun mc and northnode mc lines go through Paris, France. I think i would experience community and uncover a new level of confidence.

Have you heard of relocation astrology?

[thotsforvillainrights]

Shigaraki smut headcanons? Sorry if you've already done this, I just love crusty boi. (　＾ω＾)

(You're fine, Anon! It's one of those cases where it FEELS like it's been done but probably hasn't lol. I went and checked the new and old masterlist and couldn't find anything. Now's my chance to add it to the collection ^_^)

~Shigaraki Smut Headcanons~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up|drabble

-Really would like to say he's a freak in bed but I don't think he's all that wild...at least not at first. I feel like he has a lot of love to give when he opens himself up for it. There's not really much lust between the two of you at first (not on his end at least). His walls are up really high and for a while he starts to feel really guilty about developing feelings for you. He's not sure if he deserves to have love given to him, or to give love to others. All his life he's been focused on what he hates and not enough on what he could love. When you come along, he's filled with anger at the fact you were able to get to him so easily.

-He can't deny any longer that he has feelings for you. When you try to reciprocate these feelings then it becomes complex. He's not letting you in as easily. He prays at night that you give up on him, that you leave for your own good. At the same time he wants to open himself up to you but he just doesn't know how. When he finally decides to let himself go and feel for once in his life, it becomes likely the most beautiful and simultaneously terrifying experience he's had. When you say you love him, it's invigorating. When you touch him...touch his skin of all people, he feels special. He feels confused all at the same time. Why would you chose him?

-He's scared at first to talk about you, to feel pride out loud. he's scared he'll somehow jinx things and that he'll wind up hurting or even worse is that he'll wind up hurting you instead. It's not just the mental hurt he's worried about either. It's the pysical hurt and the crushing idea that he might slip up and you'll be gone forever. Even with gloves as a precaution, he's still not up to the idea of touching you. Why should he when he doesn't deserve to touch you anyway? A demon with an angel like you? What a cruel and disgusting joke. Don't you know if he were to mess up then you'd be nothing more than a pile of ash and memories? You don't care. You want his touch, his hugs and kisses. And just like always, he's weak to deny you. He gives up and cautiously inches into the next phase of your relationship.

-When the sex finally comes into play, he feels a bit overwhelmed. Understandably you should come to expect him not lasting very long for the first few times. Can you blame him? You're something akin to a sinful pool of gold and he's strong enough to hold back. He's focusing all his energy on making you feel good, keeping a handle on his quirk, and trying not to hurt you all at the same time. Your sex brings fireworks out. His vision gets spotty once before and leave him wondering if he might pass out. He's breathless, his skin damp with sweat and his legs weak...shaking from your activities together. He's quiet but you can still hear him making sound just for you. It's all for you.

-Because he won't focus on his own pleasure, you end up taking the reigns in that department. It takes some time for him to settle down and accept that you actually WANT to make him feel good instead. Of course you do, why wouldn't you want to return the favor? He can't grasp the concept at first. That's okay, he didn't need to think too hard. Just lay back and let you handle it yes?

-His drive doesn't seem to be that high, nor too low. If anything, he's a perfect in-between, matching your pace perfectly. He's moldable like clay for you. He'll fold and bend at your will but he also remains understanding of his own needs and preferences as well. I think maybe later on in the relationship you can see him getting a little rougher in bed. Of course at your request, he learns the ins and outs of it. Shigaraki after gaining a power-up shows a considerable difference in the ways he goes about things but that's a story for a different time.

[theambitiouswoman]

How to balance my life? I tend to do lots of studying (I am in university) for half a week and then I burn out.

By creating balance in your life. You have to establish a healthy rhythm. Some weeks you might have to crunch more and your schedule goes out the window. But you have to create a flow that your body and mind can get used to. For example, instead of studying and overworking yourself a couple days a week and then having to deal with burnout- separate x hours to studying every day based on your school schedule, of course.

You teach your body how to work for you. The better you feel, the easier it is to learn and absorb new information.

Create a schedule. Develop a weekly schedule that allows you to allocate time for studying, leisure activities, exercise, socializing, and other activities that are important to you.

Prioritize your activities. Determine which activities are essential and prioritize them over less important ones. This way, you can make sure that you are dedicating enough time to the most important tasks.

Take breaks. Breaks are essential for avoiding burnout. Take regular breaks during your study sessions, and make sure to take time off from studying to do activities you enjoy.

Exercise regularly. Exercise is a great way to reduce stress and increase your energy levels. Find an exercise routine that works for you and try to stick to it.

Get enough sleep. Make sure you are getting enough sleep each night. Most people need 7-9 hours of sleep per night to function optimally.

Practice mindfulness.Practicing mindfulness can help you manage stress and anxiety. Consider trying meditation or other mindfulness techniques to help you relax and stay focused.

[whentherewerebicycles]

oof guys some days I feel very competent at my job and some days I feel a little in over my head. today it’s definitely the latter… I think it was just a lot of being in meetings with high-ranking admins who have been here for 10+ years and thus have LOTS of knowledge of context & lots of strong opinions about these big institution-wide issues. I don’t think I ever embarrass myself in these types of meetings (mostly because I try not to talk too much and instead focus on asking questions… maybe that’s embarrassing in its own way but feels better than accidentally saying something stupid/ignorant). but they always make me feel very conscious of how new I am both to the institution and to this type of role!! however I am trying to remind myself that these people didn’t start out knowing everything about our university system or about how to think at this level… they have accumulated that understanding over many years of being involved in lots of different initiatives at different levels. I can learn these skills and the fact that I don’t have them quite yet doesn’t mean I’m ill-suited to the job or doomed to be less effective than my longer-tenured coworkers. but it does means I need to do some thinking about what those skills are and how to build them over time.

(also a lot of these meetings were about using data to inform institutional recommendations and I feel VERY insecure about my ability to draw conclusions from quantitative data. I don’t have the training and I’m not totally sure how to get it at this stage. then I start getting in my own head about being stupid with numbers, which makes it harder to see the ways that I could still contribute usefully to these discussions even if I can’t be much help with number-crunching. I could also think about how to develop these skills but honestly I just find it all SO BORING it’s hard to motivate myself to even want to pay attention. not something you are really allowed to feel at this level though!!)

I think the other problem is that I’m feeling a little bit checked out because of the pregnancy. it’s partly just that I feel pretty tired and physically worn out all the time… so it’s often easier to focus on the concrete small tasks on my plate than to do the big picture conceptual thinking I was doing at the start of this position. it’s also partly that I’m three months away from being out for six months, which makes me feel less motivated to tackle big stuff… it’s easier to wrap up loose ends than to launch new projects that will have to be put on the shelf for a long time. and then idk I feel like I’m allocating a huge chunk of my intellectual and emotional resources to preparing for parenthood, I guess? like the background hum in my brain these days is all about trying to get ready for this huge self-shattering life transition. not that you can ever be ready but I feel like so much of my energy is focused on my personal life right now when in the past it’s been much more skewed towards work. that seems normal under the circumstances! but it’s hard to figure out how to rebalance, or if I even need to rebalance at this point. like is it ok to be consumed by impending parenthood and to not feel quite as invested in or interested in my career for a stretch?? is that ok or do I need to work more actively to correct it?

[yaqamole]

HWS Spain In Relation To LatAM

So I made a post talking about how I don’t like when people make HWS Spain the father to all of LatAm so I want to expand a little as to why. This also applies for Brazil and Portugal but in this post I’ll be focusing on Hispanic Latin America

I feel that it really pushes the concept of mestizaje first of all which is really harmful to indigenous peoples in Latin America. There’s already a lot of erasure in regards to our indigenous populations as is and I feel that writing Antonio as a parent gives the impression that our history begins with colonialism which isn’t true.

I also feel that it insults a lot of the indigenous groups because it suggests Spain’s interactions were non-violent which is why he was able to produce a kid with whichever indigenous group these LatAm OCs come from. It just gives a poor impression of what actually went on during the colonial era.

Then there is the way it treats LatAm like a monolith instead of various countries with their own rich histories. So much history exists from before the Spanish arrived and it feels a little insulting to me to lump all of our nations together as one family simply because they speak the same language or have the same colonizer. To me, it gives the same energy as people calling all Latinos Mexican because they don’t bother to learn about the other countries that exist. Even unintentionally, it just leaves a sour taste that says “they’re all the same because they speak Spanish/were colonized by Spain”

LatAm is more than just a colonized part of the world and places that speak Spanish. Every country has rich history that deserves to be spoken about. So much of precolonial history actively impacts these cultures to this day. The indigenous groups that exist in our nations aren’t dead. They’re very much alive. They aren’t just some “ancients” (in the sense that they disappeared long ago). Colonization is still fairly recent in history. Many of these groups are still alive as much as our current countries might try to erase indigenous existence and contributions.

This isn’t to say you can’t make him a father to some of them. I can’t control what other people do. But these are my two cents regarding it. It just overall feels like it treats all of LatAm like a monolith, ignored the violence that Spain committed, erases indigenous contributions and history, and reduces LatAm to being just Spanish speaking and colonized by Spain.

[monvenusblg]

A new beauty routine I’ve recently invested in is getting my nails done at a salon.

I haven’t seen a lot of people discuss the esoteric significance of doing your nails more intentionally. Onychomancy is a divination tool that explains how a person’s nails signify energies that one intends to attract more of in their life. Essentially, the shape, health condition of a person’s nails as well as how it’s colored and/or designed carries messages from each person’s psyche and divine source(s). Once i’ve learned of this magick, doing my nails have helped me to become more aware of the energies that i need to embody more and which for me to release.

I thought it’ll be cool to analyze the inspiration behind my new set and discover what it is that i’m trying to manifest with them. 🎀🤍

This is what my new set looks like !

At first glance it’s pretty apparent that i’m going for a wintery snow vibe overall. Perfect for the colder January - early February days. Aesthetically, i was most inspired by:

clean, crisp, winter days when the branches turn to icicles.

The look of glaciers and ice during sunny mornings which in some shade turns everything white to a gorgeous translucent blue.

The waif-like elegance of figure skaters. Especially, the way a body could be disciplined to move, bend, and twirl on harsh and frozen surface.

The icy and delicate femininity of an “ice princess” appearance.

The catch however, is in my choice of coffin tips which is where onychomancy reveals the true inspiration and intention behind it.

🧊Grace Kelly in Rear Window (1954)

“She’s not cold. She’s a volcano covered in snow”

This quote from Alfred Hitchcock summed up the energetic essence of my nails. When Hitchcock was asked about his distinctly cool, blonde female leads, he disagreed with the consensus that she was merely icy and sterile or submissive. Instead, underneath the cool mask burns simmering passion and emotional complexity. Despite the calming or icy effect of the designs (depending on how you perceive them), coffin shaped nails according to onychomancy, corresponds to fire. I’m personally aiming to activate my tropical chart’s water houses 4,8, and 12, aka houses of things hidden and the subconscious. These houses in my chart are ruled by the fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius).

This set is less about manifesting an outcome and more focused on embodying a persona. In the book Hitchcock/Truffaut, Grace Kelly recurring presence on his films was described as a paradox between the inner fire and the cold surface: “she is sensitive, disciplined, and very sexy”. Such duality makes Grace and other women sharing similar roles on screen a compelling and mysterious force of art.

🪞Kim Novak in Vertigo (1958)

So my current nails shows rather than tells about the wearer. In a book of Onychomancy, it states how glass tips are like windows. A purely transparent set express full candor yet if it is embellished, the wearer may enjoy a bit of poetic license in its revelation. This is for someone who says “please look. but don’t touch”. I like how the book also states the support glass tips provide for setting boundaries and discernment which is something i’m trying to incorporate in the otherwise explosive self-expression of my inner truth. When I do express my emotions outward, I’m reminded that not everyone deserves to know this side of me. Color wise, my set can be placed in the light blue category. Based on color psychology this shade of blue symbolise patience, peace, and calmness. I view this color as Saturnian in nature. Because boundaries + coolness vibrates with Saturn.

A person whose fire elements is in her hidden houses posess a lot of passion and energy within a calm surface. There’s a tendency to hide this side of myself out of shame. I was made to feel that this authentic side of me was too much even frightening, thus not meant to be seen. I think my set wants me to feel safe expressing more of my fiery creative side by being assured that I’ll naturally remain “cool-headed” while doing so. I’m encourage by the intensity of my emotions and expressing my passions unapologetically without the fear of losing my mind. The addition of a 3D snowflake heart on my mars fingers (thumbnails) represents heart-centered willpower. Even if she’s a little cold, she’s not without life.

I find the women of Hitchcock thrillers act as invitations to explore the hidden inhibitions of his protagonist. If they aren’t capable of maintaining a healthy sense of mind, they’d lost it in the pursuit of her mysterious secret inner world. I think her independence, range, poise, and determination is something I like to embody more of recently💋.

*I don’t claim invention or expertise of onychomancy. For more depth on the subject you can check @/occult nails and @/taibunnii on Twitter.

*Ki Lunula books such as : “The Ancient Art of Onychomancy” and/or “Explorations in Onychomancy”are great sources of knowledge on this subject.

[rainneverstopped]

July 17th 2024, 4:20pm

I’ve been fighting for about three hours with myself about whether or not to go out. I know I should because it’s sunny and it might be fun but I’m so tired and drained. It’s a constant state that I can’t seem to get out of. It’s been months since I wrote a list of places I’d like to go to and still there hasn’t been a single day when I have felt well enough to go. The worst part is that I don’t feel rested if I stay at home and nap. I end up feeling awful but if I go out I’m constantly anxious, guilty over the money spent on public transport and %80 of the times I fight back tears (oftentimes failing) at how incredibly bored I am and how tedious it feels to “go out”. I end up realizing that this country has nothing for me anymore but I don’t have the capacity to leave. My brain also always defaults to going to the same two places because I’m used to it and going to places that I rarely go to and could therefore be more fullfilling require a completely different amount of energy and the uncertainty makes it so that I’m anxious the whole time, planning in my mind how and when to go back home. It’s awful because I’m stuck in this routine that feels safe but leaves me depleted. Some parts of it are less productive and easy than the alternatives that I could go for but because I’m used to it I perpetuate it. This is one of the most annoying parts of my autism. I know better and yet I can’t fight myself. I waste away day after day. Honestly, I think it’s a combination of loads of things. I think being perceived has become too big a challenge. I hate myself and feel disheveled at all times. I know if my hair, nails, teeth, skin were perfect and I had new nice outfits I would be far more likely to go out and I won’t judge myself for it because I also deserve to feel like I’m representing myself in the ways I would like. I feel so over and inferior. I don’t feel a “self” most of the times. I also feel like an absolute outcast in my own community because they are always talking about special interests and autistic joy and hyper focusing on things and learning everything about it and pattern recognition and skills and I have none of that. I have the frustrating sides of it. I can’t focus, my intelligence is average at best, I don’t have encyclopedic knowledge on anything, don’t feel interest or joy most of the times. I’m not particularly creative. I wish there was more visibility for autism like mine. I know I’m not the only one but it’s hard to come out and say it when it’s all showed through a happy filter of “superpower”. Mine isn’t a superpower at all. I feel very impaired by it. Socially, professionally, in my ability to do things day to day, enjoy my life, go out. I have executive dysfunction and my burnout triggers are not things I can avoid or do less of. If anything I should do more. Also as part of the %80 of en employed autistics, I don’t feel very encouraged or hopeful. It stings when I notice others managing and having all these specific, high skill jobs. It’s not that I want them to fail, far from it but I just can’t be like that now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be. It scares me and I don’t feel hope or excitement for the future. I also have been feeling such resentment at the way my social circle treated me as a child (I’m late diagnosed) and not getting validation from them makes me dislike them and not want to talk to them. I don’t think I’ll go out today after all. I’ll hate myself for it but thinking about the subway and putting money in my subway card, the people, getting dressed, I just can’t today. I wish I could. I wish I could decide to do things and do them. I don’t understand how most people go out, do things, are and look put together and enjoy these activities they decide to do. They nurture themselves with them. I find myself drained by them instead. I sincerely can’t make sense of it. It’s so hard to convince myself to go out and the payout is not what it should be but I hate being at home all the time. I don’t know where to go from here.

[mihai-florescu]

Do you agree with me that we should get rid of "death of the author" and that we should introduce "death of the audience" instead?

"Oooh but how will other people interpret this-" I don't know! I don't care! I wanna know what goes on inside the brain of the person who actually put their time and effort and soul into this. Not five million other people who Did Not Create the Thing.

(Sorry if this is weird but you feel like the most qualified person i know to have an opinion on this)

Disclaimer, im big on believing 2 things coexist at the same time about everything. My mood swings put me in black and white thinking often, but when i can think clearly from both perspectives im still a contrarian and have counter points for my counter points. Im gonna word vomit an answer, im not good at ordering my thoughts but i hope its fine still.

Oh brother i used to go on rants about this (authorial intent, media consumption, fandom culture etc) all of last semester and it's what ultimately led to me giving up on my degree and serious art altogether... i'll attach a few i found in my archive i think are relevant if youre curious beep meep meow. I was writing these posts at the same time as my thesis paper which was more hopeful and aiming to reframe what we consider escapism, but in the end by the finale (last assessment) the hatred won in my heart and i couldnt make a visual project with an audience in mind. I made something, but it was more like a rant with visuals and absolutely failed the "whats the future of this project?" question. Must it have a future for an audience? Its job was to be a confession and a respite, for my own expression. I dont want an audience, im too much of a misanthropic hater and possessive mother to let others see or interpret my ideas. I know it's selfish and counterproductive but i cant help it. You sending this ask made me laugh since it was so relevant to my struggles this year. Id love to break out of this cycle and mindset but i always go back here to these beliefs.

Anyway... i do think the sensible truth is somewhere in the middle. Reader's interpretation is essential for works to gain life in the world and to outlive their authors, and i revere stories for the ability to touch people's hearts and make them learn things about themselves as well as other's way of thinking (reading is a process of interpretation and contemplation afterall isnt it? Well, active reading at least. Citation to my written thesis). But im not a fan of fandom lens interpretations that so often flatten stories.

I think for our shared stories of interest authorial intent is particularly fun to think about. Commercial works made to sell gacha games but which do have heart and profound messages theyre trying to convey. But also made with an audience in mind. I havent been able to formulate any particularly riveting conclusions, but i would love to know if anyone has focused on such topics. Everything deserves analysis and attempts at understanding... and i find authorial intent an invaluable insight that can never be cast aside. Works gain lives of their own after theyre set free into the world, but they dont spawn fully formed from thin air ready for "consumption"...

Uuu im trying to decide if i should link to you a story about storytelling i wrote and illustrated in a day, and a video about humanity and the power of imagination as salvation and damnation... if i say "i'll share them, but only if you erase from your mind that i wrote them" it'd be hypocritical after everything i just spilled out. But too much knowledge about the author is scary too... not for the audience as much as the author himself. It's the audience who has the final laugh of judgement and interpretation... but it's scary to let others into your mind, to see things you spent time and energy on? I wish i could channel my death of the audience defiance into proudly sharing works without caring who sees them rather than deciding nothing is worth making anymore since im so mistrustful. Alas! Maybe one day i'll stop being a self absorbed, self sabotaging prey animal

[healthcareonlineblog]

What is the Best Technique to Lose Weight for Beginners

Introduction

Losing weight can feel like an overwhelming task, especially if you're just starting out. With so many diets, exercises, and tips out there, where do you begin? Let's break it down into simple, actionable steps that can help you achieve your weight loss goals without feeling like you're running a marathon on day one.

Understanding Weight Loss

The Science Behind Weight Loss

Weight loss boils down to a simple principle: you need to burn more calories than you consume. This creates a calorie deficit, prompting your body to use stored fat for energy, which leads to weight loss. It's a balance of diet and exercise, with each playing a crucial role.

Common Misconceptions

There are plenty of myths surrounding weight loss. Some people think you need to starve yourself, while others believe you must spend hours in the gym daily. The truth is, neither extreme is necessary or sustainable. It's about finding a balance that works for you.

Setting Realistic Goals

SMART Goals

Setting goals is essential for tracking progress and staying motivated. Use the SMART criteria to set goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Instead of saying, "I want to lose weight," try, "I want to lose 5 pounds in the next month by exercising three times a week and reducing my sugar intake."

Short-term vs. Long-term Goals

Short-term goals keep you motivated, while long-term goals help you stay focused on the bigger picture. A mix of both can provide continuous motivation and a clear roadmap to success.

Dietary Changes

Balanced Diet

A balanced diet includes a variety of foods to ensure you're getting all the necessary nutrients. Focus on incorporating more fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains into your meals. Avoid fad diets that promise quick fixes but often lack essential nutrients.

Portion Control

Even healthy foods can contribute to weight gain if consumed in large quantities. Learn to listen to your body's hunger and fullness cues. Using smaller plates and paying attention to portion sizes can help you eat less without feeling deprived.

Healthy Snacking

Snacking isn't bad if done right. Choose healthy options like nuts, fruits, or yogurt instead of chips or cookies. These snacks can help keep your metabolism running and prevent overeating at meal times.

Hydration

Staying hydrated is crucial for overall health and can aid in weight loss. Sometimes, our bodies confuse thirst with hunger, leading to unnecessary snacking. Aim to drink at least eight glasses of water a day.

Exercise for Beginners

Importance of Physical Activity

Exercise helps burn calories, builds muscle, and boosts your metabolism. It also has numerous health benefits, including improved mood and energy levels.

Finding the Right Exercise

Find an exercise you enjoy, whether it's walking, swimming, dancing, or cycling. You're more likely to stick with an activity if you find it fun and engaging.

Starting Slow

If you're new to exercise, start slow to avoid injury and burnout. Begin with 20-30 minutes of moderate activity a few times a week, gradually increasing the intensity and duration as your fitness improves.

Consistency is Key

Consistency is more important than intensity. Regular, moderate exercise is more effective and sustainable than sporadic, intense workouts. Make physical activity a regular part of your routine.

Mindset and Motivation

Staying Motivated

Motivation can wane over time, so it's important to find ways to keep it alive. Set regular, small goals, reward yourself for achievements, and remind yourself why you started.

Handling Setbacks

Setbacks are a natural part of any journey. Instead of getting discouraged, view them as learning opportunities. Identify what caused the setback and how you can avoid it in the future.

Building a Support System

Having a support system can make a big difference. Whether it's friends, family, or a weight loss group, having people to share your journey with can provide encouragement and accountability.

Tracking Progress

Importance of Tracking

Tracking your progress helps you stay focused and motivated. It allows you to see how far you've come and what changes you might need to make.

Using Technology

There are numerous apps and devices that can help you track your food intake, exercise, and progress. These tools can provide valuable insights and keep you accountable.

Adjusting Your Plan

As you progress, you may need to adjust your plan. If you hit a plateau or your goals change, reassess your diet and exercise routine to ensure they still align with your objectives.

Conclusion

Losing weight is a journey that requires patience, consistency, and a positive mindset. By understanding the basics, setting realistic goals, making dietary changes, incorporating exercise, staying motivated, and tracking your progress, you can achieve your weight loss goals in a sustainable and healthy way.

FAQs

What is the best diet for beginners?

A balanced diet that includes a variety of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains is best. Avoid extreme diets and focus on portion control and healthy choices.

How often should I exercise?

Aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous activity per week, along with muscle-strengthening exercises on two or more days per week.

How do I stay motivated?

Set small, achievable goals, reward yourself for progress, and surround yourself with a supportive network. Regularly remind yourself of your reasons for wanting to lose weight.

What should I do if I hit a plateau?

Reassess your diet and exercise routine. Sometimes our bodies adapt, so you might need to increase the intensity of your workouts or adjust your calorie intake.

Are there any supplements I should consider?

While it's best to get nutrients from food, some supplements like multivitamins, omega-3s, or protein powder can be helpful. Always consult with a healthcare professional before starting any supplement regimen.

[viviskull]

@electricea​​ : Continued from here

“Heh, I do my best!” His own cheeks were tinted pink as he accepted the compliment happily.  Taking the handles of the wagon into his hands, he found himself actually looking forward to the rest of their journey - which would no doubt be difficult and tiring by the end of it, yet standing here talking with Vivi, it didn’t feel like such a big ordeal anymore.  Vivi was just a fun person to spend time with, to talk with - most people his age would scoff at the idea of a pumpkin carving contest as something ‘childish’ or ‘dumb’, yet with Vivi, he didn’t get that sense at all.  Vivi seemed to have an energy that matched his own, in both enthusiasm and youthfulness - in some ways, he couldn’t help but feel that they were kindred spirits.  “Yeah, that sounds good to me! First things first! Though, I do plan on holding you to that offer!”

Giving an appreciate nod, he shifts to the side to make room for Vivi to also take hold of the wagon, nudging it forward bit by bit.  Though his own thoughts and movements are focused on moving that of the wagon forward, every so often, he can’t help but look up toward his companion as Vivi seemed to be struggling a little bit - seeming to look more and more fatigued every time he looked up.  Though he thought of saying something, for now, he grit his teeth and decided to stay quiet, instead opting to continue to slowly, steadily, push the wagon along bit by bit.  While the progress wasn’t exactly fast, it was still progress nevertheless.

“Sorry about that…!“ He moved to try and shift the wagon along with her, gripping it carefully to try and keep it from falling onto its side.  The last thing that they needed right now was to have to try and do this all over again - and risk breaking the pumpkin too! “Magical strength boost…?” He blinked, looking down at the wagon and then back up at her.  “Was that…?” How they had managed to keep chugging along, like this? Making all this progress along the way? Come to think of it, they had come a pretty long way - long enough to be nearly out to the van.  “I’ll try and be more careful, Vivi!” He nods his head firmly, determinedly, giving her his best smile.  “I think we’re nearly there so let’s finish this up, together!”

Their borrowed wagon gave a few protesting groans and tittering squeaks as they kept continuously steadying it from rolling onto its side like a dead horse.  Vivi kept one hand hooked into its hard, cracked plastic as another grasped at a dirty wooden handle to ease out the balance on her side of the wheelbarrow.  Perhaps their pumpkin might’ve been more heavy than she initially thought, but it should’ve also been when she gave most of her strength away for the other borrow for the time being.  Doing spells here and there often came natural for this lil blue dame, but sometimes she often bit off more than she could chew when it came to tolerating the eating effects of her resulting magicks.  It’s what happens when you decide to burden the pain of your friend’s tolling labor, anyways.

But it beats seeing the kid suffering from back aches in the morning.  Plus, they only really had like a couple days to get this pumpkin ready, she couldn’t waste their efforts and time in resting just yet.  Not while she kinda promised her pal they’d win somehow.

“Huh–,” she shoots the other a quick glance on her right–, “what else do ya think I kissed ya on the cheek for?  For cheesy good ol’ luck?”  Vivi impulsively raises an eyebrow.  “I don’t got enough hands to grab a raw crystal out of nowhere, ya know.  This–,” with a light brush of her elbow nudging into his side, a stronger pulse of warmth quickly tickles against the fellow’s skin–, “is just a lil trick I learned from my Gram.  They’ve got more of a knack for this sorta supportive magick usually.”

Which is probably why she’s looking a little on the exhausted side, maybe.  Perhaps this magical boost is more of an active bond?  Let’s just hope it lasts long enough where they can pick up the pace a little and jog to the car faster.

Whilst a sharp exhale of air escapes the dame’s throat, Vivi couldn’t suppress the airy laugh that swiftly followed with a hot puff of autumn smoke.  Perhaps more so taken aback by her young companion’s enthusiasm, her tired grin couldn’t help but twist to the side with an awkward air.  Yeah, they weren’t too far from the van now, but the inspirational flare might’ve been much for her own tastes.  However, who’s to say she wasn’t one for dramatics though?

Vivi blows a lazy raspberry at the other.  “Let’s see if we can even get this thing in the trunk afterwards, Armstrong.”  She lightly jokes.  “Arthur’s probably waiting on us in the van anyway.”

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

September

hellooo, on-time this time! hehe i hope everyone is happy and healthy 💙

the end of September marks one month of school and my assignments are finally slowing down (re: there will be more it's just i've finished them for the moment so i can have some relax time). so, i finally got wind of the learning system here, it's student centered learning where we have to write a paper for every subject and do a presentation for every class, the profs are only there to correct us or complete what we left out. sounds exhausting (because it is!) but i think with this method we're 'forced' to gather as much information as possible because in order to do well we need enough knowledge on the topic. not to mention we're also graded from how active/responsive we are during classes. result is most of my 'free time' is spent reading 🙃 not entirely complaining because the major difference from first degree vs post grad school is now everything's more focused on the discipline i'm interested in hehe

most of my class is held online (god bless) and i'm, yet again, the one in charge of our class' Zoom account (which we buy ourselves instead of provided by the campus). i only go to the SaIemba campus once a week for weekly wire bending class. yes, ladies and gentlemen, wire bending is now taking over my bank account and i mean it literally because the pliers i have to buy cost me a loooooooot of money 🙃 i think this month i really exhausted my savings... the only relief provided for me is that for orthodontists we usually only buy these pliers once to be used for years, that's why it's important to buy high quality ones. kinda glad i bought my Coldplay Singapore tickets before this huhu

an update on my medical check-up, i finally got to see the internist and yep he said i have very high metabolism rate (everything i eat gets converted quickly into energy, not fat/body mass and i need to eat more carbs, but sadly i'm more of a beef veggies fruits person sigh) and that for my slightly anemic blood report i need to consume more blood replenishing food/supplements... these days i swear i’ve been eating more than i did years ago but i simply can't gain weight (still ranging around 41-43 kgs and never higher 🤡)

this September the class celebrated two of our members' birthdays! (again, i'm in charge of reminding everyone of someone's bday 😂) for the first one, kak Mandy's, i kinda made a cruel prank i really regret lol with everyone's help i tricked her we have impromptu on the spot zoom with our professor that required us to show our wire bending progress... she believed me and actually stayed up late to finish her work 😭 i swear i got her to stop and go back to sleep at 10 PM 🥺🥺🥺 but the surprise worked and she was actually surprised (& genuinely happy, i checked on her right after haha) to find us singing the hbd song as she entered the meeting room and sent her a lovely cake for her. the second one, kak Putri's, and this one we can no longer use the Zoom tactic again so we pushed back the surprise to our next wire bending class at uni, bought her pizza and coffee (her favs) and i think the best part is: after i checked in on her, she said she's touched by our efforts as she's never really experienced having people do this much for her. that answer stunned me in a way i get reminded again how being remembered is such a privilege, a rare thing, one's life goal? it's one of the best ways to leave no room for doubt that someone truly cares and loves you? seems like a simple gesture but woah. the impact it left? i think i've never felt more happier being able to remember people's bdays/preferences/likings, seeing how happy i can make someone feel? that's what i strive to do even more now 💪🏻

anyway, did i tell you already i'm the youngest in our class? and the oldest is literally 10 (ten) years older than me? so naturally... i'm also in charge of everything technical: starting from running our class' instagram account and teaching everyone efficient ways to use Google Docs and Slides to finish our assignments 😂👍🏻 i love getting treated like everyone’s little sister and calling everyone kakak/abang 🤣 yet somehow i love being the one people are (mostly) depending on? i like having responsibilities and being able to provide help i guess? 😂 and guess what: i actually also become the class' official editor. yep. one of the assignments given from the dean is to write this mini book (yes, book. not a paper) and she appointed me to be the editor! it's a rigorous task i need to be super diligent and attentive while proofreading and correcting the formatting, but yeah i enjoyed it. my editing hobby has leveled up to a semi official thing haha

last week of September my dad's coworkers held farewell parties (yes plural) for my dad as his last day of work in the entirety of 40+ years of career has finally come... it was an emotional night, almost everyone volunteered to give a lil speech for my dad and said how they've lost and will miss my dad dearly, even some of his lab assistants cried. because my dad was stationed on duty at St Regis hotel naturally i was tagging along, and my dad's subordinates arranged me to be the special guest and yeah. i got teary eyed too because i got to witness yet again how loved my dad is. anyways, i highkey will miss the 'side privileges' i'm so used to get for being a child of a Bank lndonesia employee HEHEHE i mean free staycation at five star hotels almost every week? health insurance (which stopped as i turn 25 huhu) and many many many others. oh well. now it's my time taking care of my mum and dad then, my dream to provide the same or even better treatments than what i received 🥺

with my dad entering retirement, now aside from school i’m swamped with packing and boxing. we’re slowly moving things back to the Cibubur house while i prepare some of my stuffs to carry to my cousin’s house. not gonna lie feeling quite sad because the benefits of having a house in the center of South Jakarta scene are endless! 😂 almost everything is within fingertips’ reach and i’m used to living in that part of the city that never sleeps. Cibubur’s pretty quiet and Bendi (my cousin’s house region) though just a few districts away from Blok M isn’t really the life of the party. i will miss Panglima Polim and everything surrounding it 🥹

last note: these days i'm feeling like life is really that unexpected? so many things i didn't even dream ever happening are thrusted onto my hands right now as we speak and they turn out to be all i've ever wanted? i think i've perfected the formula of doing good + be good + trust the timing. a simple example would be me getting back to school (you can tell i’m not done feeling super happy after getting accepted 😂) excited for more to come, major changes or challenges are welcome: bring it on! i'm ready and up for all kinds of surprises hehe

that's it for September! two months and i'll be 26... 9 months fly away just like that huh 😅 a reminder for me and everyone reading this to enjoy time as it goes, make every second count and special. see you next month!

[camgirlsurvivalguide]

Goooood morning Survivors -- back at it with my favourite procrastination strategy: making e-books instead of shooting for OF! Love that for me.

Anyhow,

Tier systems and exclusivity marketing have always been at the forefront of my personal approach to my business. My two overarching goals with online SW are to make a lot of money (duh) while also keeping myself and my subscribers happy. For the camgirl migrators who used to live stream and then worked our way over to content creation platforms - I feel like some of our foundational knowledge has been forgotten, and I’m here to remind everyone that the way we used to do things is still a really good approach even on OF.

On M/FC, we focused our energy on premium members, and always offered more attention to tippers than to basics or non-tippers. This helped us focus on where the money was actually coming from, and rewarding tippers with more attention/special treatment plus access to things that others didn’t receive (videos, VIP status, club memberships etc) made tipping look more attractive to non-tippers. 

Somehow on OF, practices have shifted - and I argue they’ve shifted in ways that really don’t benefit all of us very well, or very often. I’ve paid for “shout outs” from top creators twice now, and both times it’s involved giving out a number of free trials to my page. Both times I’ve paid over $200 and received a grand total of zero fucking dollars in the end - the free trials were used over 50 times, and NONE of those new “subscribers” paid me a damn dime. The only people benefiting were the seller, who pocketed my $200, and the seller’s subscribers who got free access to my page for a month (and then proceeded to spend absolutely nothing). Maybe this works for others, maybe there are criteria that I need to follow more carefully, bla bla bla - the bottom line is I think this practice mainly circles around from top creator to top creator while providing the buyer themselves - aka me, in this situation - with next to nothing. Now if I sold a “shout out” with a free trial link to someone else and then gave all my subscribers a month of free access to a different creators page, sure, some of them may click it - but they’re also more likely to stick with me for the chance to get free subs elsewhere.

Make sense? Because when it makes sense, it just kind of sucks. For me, I mean. For the other two parties it’s great - but I’m out here trying to make me money first and foremost. The second piece, as per old M/FC knowledge, is I’m trying to make the people who actually support me happy so they continue to do so. 

This is where my e-book comes in. I’ve had more than half of my current subscribers for more than a year, with probably a third of that half having been subscribed for two or more years. At current, 125 active subs have spent $1000 or more on my page - and that’s out of just 275 total subscribers at the moment (it’s low bc I broke my fucking wrist and can barely lift a spoon to my mouth without dropping food, let alone shoot sexy content lol).

What I’m getting at here is that I’ve learned how to make people happy enough to stay long term and spend a lot. I do this using exclusivity marketing, which helps me maintain my own boundaries (I only really want a small group of top tier supporters seeing my most explicit content, which helps me keep leaks lower and makes me feel better about what I release) and allows me to charge $100 plus for a single video, because I know the individuals I’m sharing it with are way more likely to purchase expensive stuff. This is personal experience that I feel strongly enough about to sell to you as a tutorial book. As always, I’m never going to offer something for sale that I haven’t personally utilized with strong reward, so the book is a massive source of information not just for newbies but especially for long term creators. 

At this point, because of how I’ve set myself up, even if I lost access to every single social media account I own, I know I’d still be able to make a handsome income because I don’t rely on advertising or a constant influx of new subscribers for the bulk of my income. Advertising is always necessary, but if you set yourself up right, it’s not 100% crucial to be doing every single day. As always, I’m sleepy and I have a huge brain so I prefer to work smart, not hard. 

Anyhow, thanks for listening to me rant. I really hope the book benefits some of y’all because I think we could all use a bit more of this strategy and a bit less mad scrambling to secure new subs every day. Are you tired? I’m fucking tired. Doing things this way is a little less tiring. 

[likzon]

Learning to Set Boundaries in an Always-On World

Hey, you. Yeah, you. Have you ever found yourself checking your phone every few minutes, even when you're supposed to be relaxing? Or answering emails at 10 PM, long after you should've clocked out for the day? Or maybe you've said "yes" to something, even though you knew deep down it wasn’t something you wanted to do? You’re not alone. In fact, you’re probably one of the many people living in a world that’s always on. And let’s be honest: it’s exhausting.

But here’s the thing — you don’t have to live like that. You don’t have to constantly be available, constantly on the go, or constantly worried about disappointing others. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to protect your energy. And more importantly, it’s okay to set boundaries.

I know, I know. Setting boundaries can be hard. We live in a society that often celebrates hustle culture and "being busy," but honestly? That mindset isn’t sustainable. You deserve rest. You deserve to protect your time, your mental health, and your space. Learning how to set boundaries is one of the most loving and empowering things you can do for yourself. So let’s dive in and explore how you can start creating those boundaries in an always-on world.

1. Recognize Your Needs and Limits

The first step in setting any kind of boundary is to acknowledge that you have needs. And, guess what? Your needs are valid. Whether you need alone time to recharge or space to focus on a project, it’s crucial to identify what makes you feel balanced and what drains you. For example, maybe you love socializing but can only handle a couple of hours of group activities before you need to recharge. Or maybe you love your work, but you hit a wall when your boss starts emailing you after hours. Recognizing these needs is key to understanding where you need to set limits.

2. Communicate Your Boundaries Clearly (And Kindly)

Once you've identified what you need, it’s time to communicate those boundaries with others. This is where things get tricky for a lot of people because we fear disappointing others or feeling guilty. But here’s the truth: you don’t need to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or coworker, a clear, kind, and direct approach works best.

Instead of saying, “I’m so sorry, but I can’t help right now,” try: “I’m currently focusing on my mental health and need some time to recharge. I won’t be available for the next couple of days.” Or, if it’s work-related, you could say, “I prefer to keep my work hours to [insert hours], and I’ll respond to your email during that time.”

Boundaries don’t have to sound harsh; they just need to be clear. And remember, saying "no" isn’t a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of your commitment to self-care.

3. Be Prepared for Pushback (But Don’t Back Down)

When you start setting boundaries, some people might push back. Maybe they’ll try to guilt-trip you, or they’ll insist that you're being “too sensitive” or “selfish.” This is where the real strength comes in: being firm in your decisions, even when faced with resistance.

You don’t need to explain yourself endlessly or justify your boundaries. The simple truth is that they are your boundaries—and you have every right to protect them. A gentle but firm response could be, “I understand this might be inconvenient, but I need to stick to my boundaries in order to take care of myself.” Over time, people will respect your limits, especially when they see that you stick to them.

4. Use Technology to Your Advantage

Living in an always-on world means it’s easy to feel like you’re tethered to your devices 24/7. But guess what? You can actually use technology to help set your boundaries. It’s about using the tools available to create space and separation between you and the digital world.

Here are a few ways to set tech boundaries:

Turn off notifications: Seriously. Try turning off all non-essential notifications on your phone. No more interruptions every time you get an email or a message.

Set app limits: Use features like Screen Time (on iPhones) or Digital Wellbeing (on Android) to set time limits on apps that tend to eat up your time. You’d be amazed at how much more present you can be when you're not constantly scrolling.

Schedule "Do Not Disturb" times: Make it a habit to set your phone on “Do Not Disturb” when you’re working, relaxing, or sleeping. You don’t have to respond to every ping.

5. Prioritize Your Own Well-Being

Finally, remember that setting boundaries is an act of self-respect. It’s not selfish to protect your peace—it’s necessary. In fact, setting boundaries is a vital part of maintaining your mental and physical health. When you respect your own needs, you’ll have more to give to others without burning out.

So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask yourself what you truly need, and then honor that need. If that means saying no to a friend, turning down extra work, or taking a break from social media, so be it. Your well-being is worth it.

We live in a world where it’s easy to feel like we’re expected to be available all the time, but the truth is: you don’t have to be. You can take control of your time, your energy, and your space. Setting boundaries may feel intimidating at first, but remember: you are worthy of time to recharge, to focus, and to simply be you. Start small, be kind to yourself, and trust that the more you practice, the easier it will get.

Take care of yourself. You’re allowed to rest.

Sending you love and strength, likzon 🌿💫

What are some boundaries you’ve been wanting to set in your life? Share your thoughts and let’s talk about it. You’re not alone in this journey!

[energy-healing-with-jen]

TODAY'S LEARNING Practice Emotional Self-Care

1. Practice awareness

The first step to solving or improving anything is the awareness that it is there. We become so engrossed in our ideas that we lose track of the feelings emanating from our bodies.

Carrying out a body scan is an excellent way to exercise awareness. I advise you to do this whenever you can, at least once a day.

A body scan essentially involves carefully and individually focusing on every area of your body, working your way down from the top. from your crown to the tips of your toes.

2. Write your emotions and how you feel

I find writing to be a really rewarding exercise especially writing about how I feel. Over time, it has aided in my understanding of how my emotions affect my thoughts and feelings.

What you can do is write about how your day was at the end of every day and focus on any of the particular moments where you experienced stronger emotions and feelings. This can assist you in identifying trends, evaluating the motivations behind your reactions, and figuring out how you wish to handle similar circumstances going forward.

3. Connect to the moment

One of the great ways of being mindful is deep breathing. Simply existing in the present moment without passing judgment is mindfulness.

Breathe through your nose, roll your shoulders, and let your body relax. Instead of attempting to alter the sensations in your body, try to simply perceive them. Keep breathing and just observe and accept them for who they are.

4. Express your emotions to someone you trust

Oh, where would I be without my friends? I really, truly know in my heart that it makes our life so much easier to discuss how we're feeling with someone who will listen and show empathy.

It is with the help of my true friends that I have made it through very difficult days much quicker and in better shape than I could've alone.

If you have even one person in your life that you can confide in, please let them be there for you. You do not cause trouble. If they're a good friend, they would be there for you just as you would be there for them.

5. Take the right steps for your emotions

There are people and situations that no matter what you do will never change and will keep hurting you whenever you interact with them.

To keep your heart safe, decide to establish limits.

6. Regulate the information you receive

There is a lot of news available to us right now that might either upset us or waste our time.

Not that we shouldn't be concerned about the major problems facing the globe, but absorbing copious amounts of information that only serves to exacerbate your misery is not beneficial.

On the other side, filling up our brains with stuff we don't need to know is a waste of our energy because even if it's just reading, it is an activity. Thus, pay attention to how much time you spend consuming news and how that affects your feelings.